Kelli's First SCC--and, First Flight!

**This blog was written in early October, so please don't be confused by any "day/time" mentionings.  And, if you do you this--Thank you, so much!   It was written with a lot of excitement in my mind and love in my heart.

 **Also, I'm having to split this into 2 parts, since for some reason I can't get the whole blog into this one journal entry--so, the final day(Sunday) will be posted on my 2nd journal entry.  Thank you for taking the time to read it all! ((HUGS))

Hello everyone! Well…I finally did it…no, I didn’t climb Mt. Everest…but, in a way, I did climb over a big mountain called “Fear” or, “Anxiety” or, “Apprehension”….and, all of those feelings now seem far behind me, even though it’s only been a week now since I first arrived in Atlanta for the Southern Comfort Conference. Yes, I just said I was at THE SCC!! WOOHOO!!! (calm down sweetie, you have a HUGE blog to write…maybe an all-nighter…I better go make some food….) So, yes, this blog may run a bit long…longer than usual for me at least…but, hey, this just may have been not only one of THE best weeks of my life….but, maybe, one of the most important times I’ve ever had, especially as a girl of course. And, not only for the time spent within the confines of the SCC experience, but I also traveled there and back home as Kelli. That’s HUGE for me!!    The whole time was amazing….well, let me tell ya a little bit about it. Please count the “!’s” I use—could be a record!!

Let’s start at the beginning of this “SCC process”. As some of you already know, I requested, and received a scholarship from SCC, and also had MAJOR help in getting there(flight paid for by a loving and precious girlfriend, whose wish of staying anonymous will be honored), and staying there at the Crowne Plaza-Ravinia(with 2 girlfriends, Bridgett and then Tracy, who both said “not to worry, we’ll take care of it…”), and help with clothes from another girlfriend, Samantha. And last but certainly not least—my wife, because, if it wasn’t for her agreeing, at least up to a point, that this trip would be a good thing for me, I may not have went...but then again, to pass up this opportunity...and, with others who were out there, offering help....plus, my desire to go was SO high... so it would have been difficult not to go. And of course, if she wasn’t doing well enough, and someone(thankfully, her parents were here then) couldn’t be here the day I flew out—she had her last chemotherapy treatment that day…I probably wouldn’t have went. And, also, she gave me some spending money…practically all the money I brought with me($100), so I knew she was at least somewhat "pro-SCC for Kelli". And, I had more help when I was there, but that’s getting ahead of myself. And, I think I’m done with thinking: “Why me, why am I SO fortunate??” I just need to do the same for someone else someday.

Wednesday, October 1

Ok, so, being without much money to use for this trip(I started out with $100…and, this was a concern, not all the time, but it was in the back of my mind most of the time while there), I wanted to park the car(another concern—it’s about on it’s last legs…or axles) at the nearest train station(for free) and take the train 30 miles to the airport ($2), instead of parking near the airport for $12 a day(which means I’d need $60 abouts when I got back--more on that later) …well, it didn’t quite work out the way I planned—mostly my fault, I waited till the last moment to pack, and then I couldn’t get it all in one bag(extra bag--$50), so, being stubborn as always, I brought the extra bag, since I wanted as many clothing options as possible! By this time, it was about an hour past my planned time to leave(longer travel time using the train to the airport vs. car only), so I had to get going(EEEEK I didn’t wanna be late!!), so said bye-bye to my wife, but not without thanking her again... and I took off…and, about 2 miles out of town, I looked over and…EEEEK, I forgot my purse!!  So, knowing I have the cops in my back pocket, I sped back home and grabbed it, and said my goodbye’s again to Jeannie. An hour or so later I made it to the parking area and then the airport and the gate with around 40 minutes to spare. But, not before spending $50 for that extra bag…so, I now had $50 to spend at SCC over a 5 day period. Now that I look back on that, it’s totally amazing how practically everything had to work out right…and, it did!(more on that later) Oh…and, I forgot to mention—I was “dressed” from the time I left the house, until I arrived back home on Sunday night. Yay!!  Going through security went smoothly…even got ‘ma’amed”(first of many times!). The flight was smooth and easy, and quick(Yay, I had things to do!! (teehee). The next challenges were picking up my luggage and using the MARTA train to travel north, stopping near the hotel. All good there too! I think a couple people were looking at me…but, hey, I’m cute, maybe that was the reason.

So, now I’m getting off the train, and I know it’s only around a ½ mile to the hotel, so, in my infinite wisdom, I decide to walk over there…I needed some exercise anyway, so off I went. I think it took 30 minutes to walk that half mile—traffic lights galore(grrr), plus hauling almost as much weight as I weigh…but still, I could see the “Crowne Plaza—Ravinia” sign in front of me! “One foot in front of the other, Kelli girl, you can do it, this is where you’ve wanted to go and what you’ve wanted to do for SUCH a long time….” And, I did it!! I didn’t see any trumpeters blowing a tribute, or banners welcoming me, specifically(next year), but that’s ok, I arrived, safe and sound, and no significant complications. That wouldn’t be quite the truth going back home….but anyway, now it was time to celebrate!

I checked in…though that turned out to be a bit of a trick(I forgot the name Bridgett used to check into her room, oooops), but they finally relented in giving me a key(I practiced my eye-batting and pouting techniques on the plane). I then proceeded up to my room, and then went “Ahhhh”…as I layed on the bed for a few minutes. But not for long! I’m HERE!! And, I gots lots things to doose!! I changed clothes, freshened up a bit, and then headed back down to the lobby. I needed to sign in/register for the conference, so I asked someone at a nearby table where I needed to go. But first, I wanted to see if there was anyone familiar roaming around the front of the hotel, the lobby, and also over at what appeared to be the hotel bar. And, well, yes there WAS someone familiar in there!! OMG…it... was…really…HER! I bet my eyes were as big as her…uhumm, you know…. when I first set eyes on Chloe Prince! Wow, it was really her, giving me the warmest of hugs!! She then invited me over to their tables for pizza and a drink. And, although I didn’t recognize her at first(duh!), there was Tara, a long time Y360 friend. It was just too cool to have those girls there, along with many others that I didn’t know before, but were of course, just as nice and friendly as Chloe and Tara.(remember, this was, with one exception(albeit a BIG exception, my first time out back in December), the first time I was with other girls in a public setting(I had met Riz in August of 2006, and Jessica, in July of 2007(first time ever dressed with another girl, and also someone else see me dressed—2 of her neighbors)) So, after awhile, Chloe took me down to the registration room, where I met the lovely Debbie Dunkle! But, I had forgot to bring my registration code with me, so, it was back upstairs for that. But, before going back down, we went to her room, and Chloe offered to give me a personal makeover—YAY!! How could I pass that up?? That was SUCH a fun time! But the best part for me was just getting to talk with and be with her. She’s been SO good to me over the past year or so….longer actually…and talking to her, finally, in person…not to mention watching her make me up purtee, was one of THE highlights of my whole time in Atlanta, it really was. I have many wonderful sisters/girlfriends, mostly online, but Chloe’s right “there”, near, or at the top of that fabulous list. I am SO blessed. Thank you so much, Chloe, for helping me start off my time at SCC in a most fabulous way! ((HUGS))

We then parted ways for awhile, as I needed to change again, shave, etc., and hopefully meet up with my roommate Bridgett, and see what her plans were for the evening. And, there she was, the one and only, Bridgett Sommers!! Another heroine to my rescue!   We had a nice talk, and then I proceeded to get ready for the evening, not exactly knowing what I was going to do. I told her that I still needed to register, so I went back down for that. Not long after, Chloe saw me and asked if I was going to Agatha’s Mystery Dinner Theatre. No, not at all, I couldn’t afford it($65)….well, she said someone had to cancel and she had a ticket available. Cool! Sure I’ll go! So, I decided to go up and change clothes again(familiar theme amongst most of us girls while there I’m sure)…and, I almost missed the bus! But, I made it, and I’m glad I did, because I had a lovely and fun time. I sat with Chloe(of course), and made some new friends on the bus over there, and at the dinner table. Everyone had a part to play during the course of the show, which was cool. The 2 actors were quite funny…lame once in awhile, but for the most part it was a fun show. (A sorta play on Annie Oakley) One girl sitting close to us particularly enjoyed it, she was laughing SO loud and often! Little did I know then that this particular gal would play a big part in helping me arrive home on Sunday. Anyway, the show was now over, and we rode back, and I was sitting with Chloe, and she once again, gave me good advice, on how to have fun as much as possible and don’t hold back….knowing that I am somewhat shy, or reticent, when I’m around people I don’t know well. I took her advice to heart…but, I still had those “moments” over my time there. I have to admit, the whole thing was overwhelming at times. But, overall, I think I did pretty good. So, once I got back to the hotel, it was quickly “beddy-bye” time for me. Just too tired…not only from the traveling, and traveling for the first time as Kelli… and, yes, a bit of nerves, but not bad really…I was just exhausted…not getting enough sleep the week before leaving....and I guess the 30 minute hot shower contributed to my fatigue.

Thursday, October 2

For the previous 5 days, I had a total of around 18 hours’ sleep…so, yeah, I was exhausted, and even though I had wanted to attend a 9 o’clock seminar that morning, I’m glad a “slept in” (8:30), since I would need that rest for the rest of the week/weekend! Bridgett had just returned from a run, so we coordinated our plans for the day. There was one other seminar I wanted to attend that day, but mostly I was free to do whatever. So we decided to try the mall for lunch and some shopping afterwards, which freed up most of my morning to mingle and check out the vendor area. There were some nice things I wouldn’t have minded buying there…but, without much money available, I just “window” shopped while there. I really wanted one of those cute little jewelry trees one vendor was selling…oh well, next year. After awhile I went back upstairs to get ready for the mall. This, of course, would be another “first” for me, going shopping(and eating too) en femme. And, as food courts usually are around noonish, it was BUSY! I think I did fine though…it helped that Bridgett was with me, along with Cheryl Jackson, oh and also, our mutual URNA chat room friend, Larry from Toronto—that’s literally what he goes by in that room, “Larry from Toronto”(I’m assuming there are no other Toronto’s in the world.). He was sweet, not that I didn’t think he would be….but, you know, most guys on the ‘Net are like—WEIRD!! Anyway, we had a nice lunch together, and, although I was not particularly looking at people and seeing if they were “looking” at me/us…I’m sure there were a few…but then again, maybe not, but by that point, I really didn’t care, and from my previous day’s experience traveling as me, I wasn’t all that concerned. I had on fairly short denim skirt(what was I supposed to do while in Atlanta, hide my most precious feminine attributes?? >wink< ), a pink tank with a tan hoodie with a pair of tan 3” wedges. No, I’m not exactly “fashion conscience”, like SOOO many girls I met while there in Atlanta, OMG!!(I think that’s great, more power to them!) But, I got by ok while there I think. Anyway, after lunch, Bridgett and I split from Cheryl and Larry and did bit ‘o shoppin’. I mostly watched Bridgett shop actually. But, we did find some great bargains at a couple of stores….can’t think of their names at the moment…wait, Arden B. was one…and Charlotte Rae, I think...anyway, I found a lovely little black dress(never had an “LBD” before), ties over one shoulder, off the other(showing my “K” tatt btw, yay!), and fairly short(duh). (yes, I know, I didn’t have much money…but a couple of girls the day before graciously gave me some spending money, and good thing, or this shopping “swarwey” wouldn’t have been possible) Sweet Bridgett, after I found another dress to wear (and by then the cash was dwindling) for Saturday night, said she would buy it for me!(ya shoulda seen my face then! ) It was all pink, which, for me, was perfect, since this would be my first “ball”(behave!) and pink being by far my fave color….and, above the knees of course. Yay, I now had more options for Friday and Saturday nights! We also paid visits to a MAC store and a VS store…both shockers there, eh girls?? We separated for a bit after that….so, I went to Claire’s and bought a few hoopies. We connected again,, and then I went back on my own to the hotel, walking over with some sweet and fun young kids(ok, I “almost” were their ages). All in all a most pleasant experience for a first time mall chickie.

I arrived back at the hotel, and not long afterwards, I had to get ready for the evening dinner, back at the mall, at Hudson Grille….and, yes, I received another “freebee”, this time offered by Debbie Dunkle’s lovely wife, Sandy. (By this time, I was wondering if my name really was “Dorothy” and I truly was on a Yellow Brick Road.... ) I rode a shuttle over with my Saturday night roomie Tracy and her her friend Deja, and other girls too. As per usual, I didn’t eat very much…I just have to be careful while dining out, with my screwy food allergies. But anyway, not long after finishing, I was SO pleasantly surprised by a visit from not only Bridgett, but her(and mine too!) good friend Candice, from Boston(she's a good friend via the URNA chat room). OH I had been wanting to meet this girl for SO long! Her nickname in the chat room there is “Sweet Boston Candy”---and she definitely IS one of the sweetest girls I know. I almost started to cry after we hugged…but she said to not do that, and to just be happy that we finally met. After dinner, and after taking some outside photos, we all piled back into the shuttle and back to the hotel. I didn’t have any set plans that night—just “hangin’ around” the hotel, the bar there, or wherever. I did go into the bar for a bit, mingled some…but, I also needed some alone time, to gather my thoughts. It had been a whirlwind 36-ish hours up to that point, and I felt I needed some time to sort things through. Maybe that sounds odd…but, remember, this was only the 2^nd time I had ever been out, anyplace, ever…if you can count my whole time at SCC plus the traveling as “one time out”. My first time was last December, on my birthday, no less…and in San Francisco, the so-called “capital of trans”(it sure ain’t Greenville ! ). Pretty good deal, with these first two outings, me thinks! So, I layed down on the bed, watching the VP debate…and, that had me so excited that I ….fell asleep. For about an hour…and then I freshened up and went back downstairs, hopefully finding Bridgett and Candy…but, no luck, and I feel like mingling much anymore that night, so I went back upstairs and took another refreshing shower. (Yeah, I know—“Party pooper”, that’s me.) Bridgett came in around 1am…I think…and I said that maybe tomorrow we can all, me her and Candy, go someplace to eat, dancing, etc., and she said that’ll work. “Nite-nite Bridgett” “Nite-nite Kelli”

 Friday, October 3

Being the Internet/chat addict that I am, I awoke around 5am, to get an early start on chatting and IM messages…and, I sure didn’t see many girls up at that hour! I did get into the URNA chat room though…but, hardly anyone was there…I guess most were in Atlanta! (What was cool though, was later that day, while chatting on Yahoo Messenger, was making contact with a girl, Adrienne, that I hadn’t chatted with for over a year…and, there she was, as I was sitting in the “mecca” of trans-celebration!) So, after awhile, I picked up a bagel, a drink, and went back upstairs to get ready for the day. (Btw, I wore a white long-sleeved sweater with a pink tank underneath, along with a denim skirt and 2” tan wedges--hmmm, sounds familiar. And all either were from Goodwill or Payless…kinda sad isn't it? But, at the same time, some really good bargains…plus, with our finances as they are….sigh.) Another BIG day planned, this time with seminars, the career fair, luncheons, a lovely dinner(and lovely dinner companions!) and, although not originally planned--a fun time at the hotel bar. Let’s start with the seminars. The first was at 9am, with Donna Rose. What an amazing, and of course, obviously gorgeous, woman!! I thoroughly enjoyed her talk…and, I wish it could have lasted another hour. I did get to introduce myself after her talk. And, that was just my first brush with celebrity that day! The next seminar was with Jessica McKinnon, a voice trainer/educator. This was my first exposure to any type of voice training, and I enjoyed her presentation, so much so, that I signed up for a private voice lesson the next morning, up in her suite. (more on that later) I sat with a new friend, Michelle from Boston, whom I had met the day before…and, btw, I absolutely LOVE you Boston girls! It seems like I met at least 7 or 8 while at SCC—all lovely, all friendly, all fun! (I think Boston just moved into 2^nd place on places to move to eventually, hehe.). And, so, after that seminar, I had lunch with Michelle, and also with a few Jersey gals. And, again, I ate little…but that’s ok, I was just SOOO happy, being there at this Conference! After parting with Michelle, and going up to freshen up, I went back down for the Career Fair. It was good, and informative, but not being in a position just yet to change jobs/careers, or move from here, I just mostly talked to a couple of presenters and picked up some literature. After that, I went to the vendor area and browsed. No purchases, just browsing. No cash, no purchases. >pout< I LOVED the jewelry trees one vendor had, they had the body of gorgeously dressed women, with various “branches” to hang necklaces and such, on each side…but, oh well, next time.

My next seminar was with Jennifer Boylan. And, other than just being here, and traveling there and back, and of course, being with my friends, one of THE main things I wanted to do while at SCC was to attend one of Ms. Boylan’s seminars. Just before going in the Maplewood B room, I ran into(not literally, she could hurt me if I did ) Chloe, and she was going to see Jenny (oh yes, I’m on a first-name basis with her ) also! Being that I had wanted to meet Ms. Boylan ever since reading her wonderful book, “She’s Not There”, I just HAD to sit in the front row. For the first hour, she mostly read passages from her new book, “I’m Looking Through You”, of which I haven’t read yet…was planning to before leaving for Atlanta, just ran outta time, yada yada….and, she interspersed that with her infectious humor, actually throughout her session. I enjoyed my time with her even more than I thought I would! And, afterwords, she signed autographs—yes, I brought both books with me! I even asked her a couple of questions, and had my photo taken with her—YAY!   Wow….I’m now sitting here at home, thinking about being with her…and really, my whole time down there...and, it’s been almost a week now since arriving back home…and, I’m getting tearful thinking about how special a time I had…and, wishing it could have lasted longer. But hey, magic happened, for me, and no doubt for MANY other girls last week, and, at least for me, it was quite an emotional time too.

So, anyway, my next stop was back to the room, since Bridgett, Candice and I had dinner plans that evening. When I arrived in the room, I heard someone in the bathroom, and, I thought it was Bridgett. “No no, uh-uh…”…it was Candice!  Getting ready, and since she was staying at another hotel, it just made sense for her to get ready with us. She is SUCH a fun girl! And, I thought I had nice legs—omg, Candice has WAY better…well, she should, she rides her bicycle over 5000 miles a year!    After we were all done making ourselves perfect(I had on a new black dress, the same one I mentioned earlier), and, not knowing exactly where we wanted to go for dinner, we hung around the bar for a bit, and asked around for some good places to dine, and also some cool dance venues, because one thing I did want to do with Candice was dance with her(and Bridgett also of course), since she has a bit of a “reputation”(no, not THAT kind ) as a great dancer, and I was hoping to discover that. There was a club, “Le Buzz”, that was fairly local, and that catered to TG’s, and supposedly had dancing available, but then we heard that, at least that night, it was just going to be a drag show….so, we ended up not going there, after dinner. Well, as it happened, that club DID have dancing…but, but the time we found that out, it was too late. Oh well, at least we had a nice(and, OMG, at least to me…though the girls took care of me and my share of the bill—Expensive!!) meal together…along with a bit of flirting with the waiters and waitresses. (All innocent here! >wink< ) That dinner though, was part of the true essence of my time at SCC—forging close friendships, and, hopefully, having them last a lifetime.   After dinner, it was back to the Ravinia. I found a couple of friends to talk to, and then I kinda lost touch with Bridgett and Candice, and eventually I went back upstairs to rest a bit. But, I didn’t wanna stay up there…I wanted to have some more fun with friends that night, so I went back down to the hotel bar, and, there they were! “There she is!”, said Candice, so I joined them, for what turned out to be the next 3 hours! More good times with them, and with other girls who came by to say “Hi”. I’d like to give a special “Hello” and thank you to two in particular—Danielle and Rebecca. You girls were so much fun! Danielle seemed to be admiring Candice’s legs…no argument there….and, after some coaxing, Candice relented and allowed(yeah, like she wasn’t gently teasing Danielle in the first place, hehe )(well, girl, you were!) Danielle to massage her feet. Yes, in the bar. But, hey, it was like, 2am now…”who cares”, right?? After awhile, I asked(or, maybe Danielle asked me…can’t remember, hehe) Danielle if I could take her place. Now, I didn’t actually plan to massage Candice’s, or anyone’s feet that night…especially in a hotel bar…but hey, it was fun, and Candice certainly seemed to enjoy it. >wink< Soon we were all getting tired…it was now around 3am…and, I was actually the last one out of the bar that night. Yes, me, “Ms. “Temperance””   And then, after going up to the room to gather her things, Candice and I had to say are goodbye’s(Bridgett had went back up an hour earlier), since she had to leave in a few hours, as did Bridgett. Obviously, the least favorite part of my time in Atlanta, parting from friends. I have a feeling I’m speaking here for many girls, but the friendships I have, and now, especially with the girls I’ve actually met in person, run VERY very deep, and it truly is a love of one’s sisters….we’re all in this together, and, hopefully, there will come the day when such conferences won’t be necessary…but, I know, that’s a long way off. If the general public could truly see the close bonds we girls(and no doubt, transmen also) have…and, yes, much of it out of necessity…and how we take care of one another…I think they would be very impressed. And, at the same time, our community needs to reach out TO the general populace, and show them, by our words, and our actions, that we truly belong in this world too. Anyway, by this time I was SO happy to be there that I hardly slept….and little did I know that I could have used more rest, after what happened over the next couple of days.

Saturday, October 4

It’s a good thing I didn’t sleep in, because then I would have missed hugging Bridgett and saying goodbye. I can never thank her enough for allowing me to stay with her, without paying my share of the room…my GOODNESS I have wonderful friends!!   After she left, I got cleaned up and went down for some Internet and later, breakfast. By this time, I knew I only had around $50(Several very sweet and generous girls had given me some money while I was there…some, anonymously, and some not(you know who you are! ((HUGS)) )…and, well, I had spent some of that money shopping…hard to resist!...but, as it ended up, I should have saved that money for the trip home.), but I wanted decent breakfast (I think I lost around 5 lbs. during my time in Atlanta), so I went down to the breakfast restaurant(“La Grotta”, I believe) and ordered toast and tea(well, ok, actually hash browns, a bagel and OJ). Not long after I began eating, I looked up and saw Jenny Boylan and some friends walk in. That morning, I wore a pretty pink/tie-dyed style bandana(and a pink(yes, I have lots!)top and capri’s), and as Jenny walked by, she said, “Well hi Kelli(I think she said my name—maybe it’s just wishful recalling ), what a cute bandana, I like the look!” I smiled the rest of breakfast.   Just a bit later, I sat with Allyson, a good friend from Yahoo 360, and who, later that day, during the Saturday luncheon, without her knowing ahead of time, would be given recognition for this event being her first time out in public as Allyson. That recognition couldn’t happen to a nicer girl, believe me.  So, I finished breakfast, gave Allyson a hug, and headed up to Jessica McKinnon’s suite, for a private voice lesson. Just finishing her lesson was my long time online friend, Keri Renault, who I had met in the lobby the previous day(it was SO nice to finally meet her!), and it was nice to see her again. I really enjoyed that session with Jessica—she recorded my voice, and will be sending that file to me, and I can use that as a template as I continue working on my voice…which she said was pretty good already(Yay!). Thank you, Jessica! And then, I headed up to get packed…since I had to leave that room and stay with Tracy that evening. I somehow crammed everything into my 3 bags…but, I couldn’t find Tracy…her phone would automatically go into voice mail, and I did leave a message, but I never did hear back from her. Later on I found out why, and everything turned out ok, but it was a bit of a frustrating day. So, it was now around noon, and I had to get my stuff out of the room, but without a room yet to keep my bags, I had to leave them downstairs in the storage room. Which, was ok…but later on, I would need to change clothes for the pool party…but, that eventually turned out ok too. (Again, thank goodness for friends!!) The week before I left for Atlanta, I became acquainted online, with Mandi MacDonald, a gal from the Atlanta area. I think she’d left a message on the SCC Lounge Yahoo Group site, and I clicked on her name/profile, and found her story interesting(working for an airline, in the maintenance dept.—while transitioning…so, you can imagine, in such a “macho” type environment….), and sent her an IM, telling her I’m coming to Atlanta for the SCC event, and then she said we should meet up sometime….and, it worked out that we were able to meet for the Saturday SCC luncheon, and I enjoyed my time with her, and her friend Shawna. I also greatly enjoyed both Donna Rose’s and Mara Keisling's speeches….both true heroines of our community

So, now it was time for the pool party! Not being much of a “pool girl”, I was slightly hesitant in going…not to mention not wanting to scare anyone with my blindingly white skin…but, with Chloe giving me some of her old(but still good!) bathing suits(yes, one piece—I’m not THAT daring!), and figuring to see her there, I just “had” to go…but, I needed someplace to change clothes. Thankfully, Tracy’s friend Deja was in the lobby area, and I asked her if I could use her room to change, and being the sweetheart that she is, she said fine, that’s cool. She even let me borrow a lovely wrap of hers. I had a fun time at the party, and re-connected with Michelle, who looked very pretty, as she always did every time I saw her. Chloe didn’t show…well, at least I didn’t see her, but that was ok, she can’t babysit me every moment.

So, now it was around 4pm, and still no sign of Tracy. Deja said I could use her room to get ready for the evening’s festivities…and I thanked her for her offer, but I did want to get into my room(I should have coordinated better with Tracy beforehand). I did get an offer from Debbie Dunkle to use her room to dress…but things got a bit chaotic, what with my cell not always working, and going down to the lobby every once in awhile, hoping to see Tracy around someplace. And, for awhile, I did find another girl who let me keep my bags in her room—Bonnie, from Canada, who also offered to let me stay with her that night, in case Tracy didn’t show up. (Thank you, Bonnie!!) Eventually I did see her in the lobby—she was downtown for much of the day, shopping with a friend…and they had some car trouble, and got caught in traffic…which was all perfectly understandable. So, anyway, now I could get into the room…but now it was around 6pm, so we both had to scramble a bit to get ready in time for the dinner and entertainment. I just HAD to wear my new(thank you again, Bridgett!! ) pink dress! I ended up being a bit late(15 minutes abouts) for the dinner, but hey, that was ok, I didn’t eat much anyway(surprise!). After finishing, I went outside the ballroom and made some phone calls. I called Jeannie…I had forgot to call her yesterday(Friday), and I felt bad about that. She said she was doing fine, and was about ready to eat supper(her church was delivering supper every night while I was away). It was good to hear her voice. I also called a couple of girlfriends, one local to me(she was so surprised to hear from me!) and the other, my best friend Jessica, who would have liked to have been there(she was there in 2006), but with too many complications in her life nowadays, her health being one main reason, she just couldn’t make it…but she was glad I called. And I was glad to call them, and at least give them a bit of a taste of what I was feeling, being there, with some of THE coolest and nicest people I have EVER met in my life. I got a bit emotional sitting there…I didn’t wanna break down, out in the lobby there, but it was hard not to, knowing it was my final night. More and more people were leaving the ballroom by then, and mingling, taking photos, etc. I do hope to receive some photos of me from those sweet girls who took my picture!

Now it was around 9pm, and my feet were starting to bother me again…and, I wanted to change into something different, so I went up to the room and changed(cute black n’ purple top, cute black skirt, cute sho---ok Kelli, calm down). And, once again, to think too. SOOO much had happened to me in the past 4 days!! All good!! It was almost surreal….my whole life, with all the accumulated thoughts, feelings I’d had throughout the years….and, now, I was in this place, this truly magic place called the Southern Comfort Conference…and, I honestly had never felt this comfortable my whole life…trying not to cry while typing this….but yes, it was real, finally real, and, along with my travels as my true self, my time at SCC will never, ever be forgotten. Anyway, after getting done changing(and thinking), I went back downstairs. I noticed Tracy, outside the front doors, so I went out to see what she was up to. She was going to a club someplace…a “straight” club, and then asked if I’d like to go. Sure, why not? Well, after waiting around for about 20 minutes, I went back inside. Maybe it was a slight fear—of being out at a “normal” type establishment…or, maybe I was tired…or maybe it was just all a bit too much…yes, I’d been fine, traveling down, and at the mall, going out to eat, etc…and of course, at the hotel….but, for whatever reason, I backed out from going, and, as it turned out, it was really my only regret my whole time away. Tracy said that they had a great time, and possibly even opened some minds there…let’s hope so!  I should have went and been a part of that. Next time, I won’t be so hesitant.

I did go over to the bar, talked to a few girls, but by that time, I was really tired(maybe you should eat more, Kells ), and, feeling kinda down, knowing this would be my last night there…and yes, with my worries back at home always in my mind(I’m sorry, but I just can’t not think about those things….it’s a big part of my life also)…I then went back upstairs, and eventually fell quickly asleep—TOO quickly, because I forgot to wash my makeup off. Oooops! I think Tracy got back around 2am, and she related how fun a time she and her friends had that night. Good for them, I was happy to hear about all of that. And, I really couldn’t complain—it was my fault I didn’t go with them. And besides, I had been having quite possibly the greatest week of my life…especially, obviously, my life as Kelli. So, I slept well that night.